Wednesday, August 03, 2005

The last Freedmanslife posting?

Editor's note 1: change of plan - I realised that I'm writing this as therapy for myself, and because it saves a lot of "I told you so" at a later date. So read it or don't read it, I shouldn't worry about ratings - they only corrupt my journalistic integrity...

Editor's note 2: see what I'm about to post for reasons why you, the sensible public who prefer a slight reduction in civil liberties to having the crap blown out of you, need me to defend your views.

Dear loyal reader

Thanks for visiting this site over the past few months. You are in a very exclusive group that is becoming ever more so. Readership has dwindled to single figures per day, so I have decided enough is enough.

I'm not sure whether it's because I write badly, or if I write offensive stuff, or if my views make some readers uncomfortable because it's alarmingly true, or if I'm just boring.

Please feel free to suggest alternative subjects, or to send me articles that you enjoyed or pissed you off, and I will deconstruct them or deconstruct you, depending on whom I agree with.

Topics I have on my list for the coming weeks are:

- The London Olympics 2012 and what role Ken Livingstone will play in the archery contest
- Cuisine, including restaurant reviews and Jamie Oliver crying in a walk-in fridge
- Freedmanswife; the ones who got away (Gellar, Kournikova etc)
- why we should have trade not aid, and how Chris Martin may have the solution
- some good Jewish jokes; and some better non-Jewish ones, ie "A man calls his mother-in-law and says he'll be late for dinner. The mother-in-law says 'no problem' "

It's sad to say that the peak of 100 or so readers a week was only reached after I started writing the political stuff in the aftermath of 7/7. Who would have thought that terrorism could improve ratings and readership? This discovery is the stuff films are made about. Oh. They already have.

So if you enjoy reading my stuff, and know other people who might, please send them a link. If readership hits 100 visitors a week again, I will hold a big kedgeree brunch in your honour. If it stays at current levels, I will post a picture of me in my birthday suit, and cease writing in 6 weeks.

Thanks for sticking with me to the end!



Anonymous said...

Damn shame, I for one will miss this blog if you do stop writing. My 'working' day will never be the same without your insightful and incisive material.

In the words of an old British soldier: "We need more of your sort young man".

Future games for the olympics might be:

- 'Red Ken Dunking'. Winner will be person who can hold Ken underwater longest without drowning him.


- Hunt the wooly lefty. Athletes will line up behind a starting grid and give chase to Orla Guerin and other assorted bleeding heart liberals who will run dressed heat to toe in hijab and burka. Race will start and finish at the drop of a kaffiah.

As a spot of light entertainment for the millions of viewers we can have a little spot the bias competition in the ad breaks/ gaps in races etc. Viewers will get to see a BBC news item at random and have to call in with the number of corrections they'd make to make it unbiassed. The BBC of course won't be broadcasting this because they're...wait for I need to say it...?...ok...biassed!

Graffiti found on Iraqi toilet:

"Yankee go home...and take me with you"


Anonymous said...

Hi Mike, Apologies for not checking out your blog more regularly - I must do better! After all, my husband must get his daily fix of work-avoidance... I shall vow to help to boost those flagging numbers and save your page!
Abe's wife

Anonymous said...

Don't be such a drama queen - we all know that you love talking far too much to actually stop blogging, now that you've entered the fray. Building up a large audience is hard. If you really want to do it, you need to post at least once every day, no exceptions. If you know you can't post tomorrow, write two entries today and post-date one of them so it only appears tomorrow (dunno if Blogger can do that. Wordpress can. If you want to switch I can help). If you'll be away for some time you need to bring in a reliable guest blogger who will post interesting stuff every day in your absence (i.e. not me!). If you don't have the commitment to do that, you lose the right to complain - but on the other hand it may be more fun without the pressure. Your choice. I for one quite enjoy your blog and will continue to drop by from time to time, whatever you decide to do (but the frequency of my dropping-by will tend to mirror the frequency of your postings). Keep up the good work... Eric