Friday, May 18, 2007

Freedmanswife: an intro

We're going to try something a bit naughty here.

It's been ages since I actually tried to get a girlfriend, and as subscribers to Freedman's Private Life will know, there have been some ups and downs of late, which have left me feeling rather disconsolate. So I am asking you, dear reader, to help find Freedmanslife a Freedmanswife (see what I did there).

Having carefully read J-Date's terms, conditions and privacy policy, it seems that there is nothing wrong with cutting and pasting other people's profiles onto this site, provided I do not reproduce their images or other "personally identifiable information". Seeing as J-Date themselves mine profiles to ensure that there is none, so that people cannot circumvent their expensive membership system if they want to contact each other, all text-based content seems to be fair game.

So, I am going to start a regular column called "Freedmanswife", where I post up the most amusing or appropriate profile of a lady I find on J-Date, and you the reader can vote on whether I should pursue her. There are three levels of vote:

1. HEAVENS, NO! This is self-explanatory, usually because she munts like a certain previous blind date, or is extremely stupid, much like a certain previous blind date.

2. PROD HER! This permits me to use the J-Date gimmicks like sending a "flirt", checking her profile regularly, hot-listing her etc, so that she can see me and check back my profile. If she's bright and/or thorough, she'll find the cryptic clues that bring her to this blog.

3. BESHERT! If you feel this strongly, you will be asked to make a donation to Freedmanslife so that I can pay for a month's registration and make formal contact. You may also be sent the tab for any first date expenses or indeed legal claims arising.

Meanwhile, here is my own profile; any feedback welcome, as well as ideas on how to put in the cryptic clues on how to find me for free, and what to put on this site to ensure they contact me without having to tell all of you:

About Me

Boring, NW London accountant seeks dull JP into manicures and a conventional lifestyle in suburbia. Well, that got your attention. Actually I'm straightforward, entrepreneurial, intelligent, gourmand, witty, well-travelled, always challenging status quo, detest the NW London comfort zone, accessible yet sometimes deep and complex - how very Dawson's Creek! Overall so laid-back I'm lying down, totally honest (my name is "The Horrible Truth") - and fiercely loyal to friends and family. Lived in Buenos Aires, Paris and Edinburgh, spend 3-4 months a year in Tel Aviv, prepared to up sticks again at a moment's notice!


My perfect first date:
Limo pickup to waiting Learjet, then I wake up. Then I drive you in my little silver Micra (sadly this part is not a dream) to a pleasant restaurant where we have a beautiful meal (we feed each other of course). The night ends drinking champagne in the private capsule of the London Eye that I presumptuously booked in advance. In the morning (!) I teach you to make fresh kedgeree. Recipe available on request, as is a ride in the silver Micra, even if you don't want to go on a date.

My ideal relationship:
Honest, realistic, intellectually and emotionally stimulating and challenging, not too clingy, and any prospective partner must have a willingness to hide our relationship from my mother.

My past relationships:
The need to balance my extremely rational mind with a willingness to sometimes just go with the feelings. Oh, and not trying so hard to understand people. That my strong and vocal opinions, coupled with my desire to find a financially-aware woman who doesn't like to waste cash, mean that I can save time by pointing you towards my blog (Freedmanslife) first, from which you can also locate me and save both of us the monthly fee, which we can spend on a lovely meal for two.

I am looking for a:
Willing to be very open-minded here. Keen to make new friends and expand social circle, see what happens from there. Intelligent, non-becky, open to new ideas, no pushover. Just please please don't be stupid or very left-wing, you must be able to spell, and you HAVE to like your food. So actually not so open-minded, more an exact fit. Huh.

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