Thursday, October 18, 2007

We are all Israel now...

So, you bunch of raving English hypocrites. Last summer, you were "all Hizbollah now". Seems that this autumn, the yellow flags and terrorist chic kheffiyahs which seem to have proliferated recently will all be neatly folded away, and Israel will be called upon to win something.

Of course, this isn't an existential war or anything, so you are allowed to support the Zionists on this occasion. It's just football.

England are in this mess because they failed to beat Macedonia at home, there being no shame in an away draw in Tel Aviv, where nobody beat Israel in the last World Cup campaign and Croatia scraped a 4-3 victory in their tie, and the now-legendary element of farce and bad luck about the loss in Zagreb.

Still, I guess it's a nice situation for the armchair Israel-haters that make up about 70% of this fucking country. Israel get schmeissed or we do you a favour. And yes, I mean WE. After all, I failed Norman Tebbit's "cricket test" - and supported Israel in the recent qualifying games. In part this was because I thought Israel needed the points more and England should have been capable of qualifying by beating all the other sides.

It's also because I despair of the manner in which the country sees its shallow yobbish support of its football team as its national identity rather than just an expression of it. This is best shown in the way that the dreary tune of the national anthem is dragged out several times per match as a strange terrace chant.

I wonder if Ladbrokes will take my bet that if Israel do lose, there will be at least one statement that makes it into the media, blaming them for some kind of "Russian-Jewish-Zionist conspiracy" because of the multiple ties between Abramovich, Zahavi, Gaydamak, Grant and so on...

Anyway, luckily for me, here is a chance for me to get a win-win result too. Israel wins and helps England: jackpot scenario. Israel loses, and I get to rant a bit more about how everyone is always blaming Israel for everything that is wrong in their lives.

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